Stars and Other Monsters is a novel by Phronk. It’s about vampires, but fuck those things.

It was released on the historic night of the 13th of June, 2014—a Friday the 13th and a full moon. That won’t happen again until 2049. And a book like this will never happen again.

Buy it now on Amazon.

Here’s a description:

Stan Lightfoot is the perfect paparazzo. His dog, Bloody, can track down anybody, anywhere, which comes in handy whenever a celebrity involved in a juicy scandal tries to avoid public attention. He’s about to get the perfect picture—a real privacy-invading winner—when he runs into a vampire who ruins his life. 

From the dark and vulgar mind of Phronk—author of Baboon Fart Story (Google it)—splashes a neo-vampire trip through nightmare America, full of movie stars and other soulless creatures, mind-numbing romantic comedies, and a Wal-Mart in every town.

When the vampire reveals a celebrity crush of her own, Stan finds a way to keep her from eating him. Helping a murderous monster fuck a movie star wasn’t exactly what Stan had in mind when he got into photography, but it’ll buy him a few days. Can he find a way to escape a creature with god-like power before she reaches her destination?

Probably not.

About Phronk:

Phronk wrote Stars and Other Monsters.

Phronk writes a lot of odd things, actually. He wrote a PhD dissertation about the psychology of horror films. He gets paid to write about technology and abuse words like “synergy,” “leverage,” and “utilize.” Buy enough of his novels and he’ll stop inflicting that on the world.

Phronk also wrote Baboon Fart Story, an experiment in publishing. Here is some nice stuff that famous people sarcastically said about Baboon Fart Story:

“Its artistry in the face of ‘normality’ is awe-inspiring.” — Alan Baxter

“Arguably the highest achievement of humanity. […] A bot could not have done a better job!” — John Scalzi

“Let’s just say I like the idea of self-publishing even less now.” — Adam Christopher

“A master of modern Dadaism.” — Daniel Abraham

Read the full story of Baboon Fart Story at Forest City Pulp or Phronk’s main blog.

Phronk is also the creator of Putting Weird Things in Coffee, which is a blog about putting weird things in coffee.

More at his main blog, Phronk.com.

Email fuckvampires at phronk dot com.

Sign up for Forest City Pulp’s mailing list to get notified about new releases from Phronk, like maaaybe a sequel.


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